Was Enid Blyton a Servant of Satan?

Enid Blyton (1897 – 1968) popular British children’s writer corrupter of morals.

I’m not going to turn this into an essay. I’ll merely outline a few points which I think indicate that in fact, Enid Blyton was a servant of Satan, and that her books should be banned and burned in town squares around the world.

Biographical Oddities

Wikipedia has an entry on Ms. Blyton in which we learn some interesting facts. Firstly, her lifespan (as noted above) which plays a part in our later discussion. It seems that she was “astonishingly prolific”, and she has been attributed to writing 10,000 words a day. If she worked a respectable eight hour day, this means she wrote day to day at a constant 20.8 words per minute (wpm). This is around the rate at which typist beginning to learn their craft work at (and they’re probably not constructing subversive childrens stories whilst typing). This pace seems positively infernal. How could she attain these unnatural speeds? From Wikipedia:

“Such astonishingly prolific output led many to believe that some of her work was ghost written, but such ghost writers have not emerged”

Was the ghost writer in fact Beelzebub himself, guiding her hands on the Black Typewriter of Damnation?

Characters

In The Famous Five series one of the child characters is named ‘Dick’, and an adult character is called ‘Fanny’. Americans may associate ‘fanny’ with ‘buttocks’. In the rest of the English speaking world however ‘fanny’ refers to the female sex organ. ‘Dick’, I assume is universally recognised by anglophones. So here we have two characters, in series of books for young primary school children, named after the female and male genitalia.

Did Ms. BLYTon know of this at the time?

According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, ‘fanny’ came to mean vulva in 1879. Likewise, ‘dick’ has had impure connotations since 1891. Ms Blyton, having been born in 1897 should have known, thus we can only assume that this was her intent all along – to have children uttering filthy words, all over the world in their bedrooms. Remember, to subvert social norms, you need a generational change – and what could be better than having the young (proverbially) suckle from purile teat of popular culture.

‘Noddy’ is another of Ms. Blyton’s creations. I cannot find a canonical souce online for Noddy ‘literature’, but needless to say, Noddy (male) and Big Ears (male) like to share a bed and have “gay times” together.

“Come with me for a gay time in the wood! [and ETERNAL DAMNATION]”

Plot Lines

The plot lines for Ms. Blyton’s writings are mostly ridiculous set pieces involving children, evil grown-ups and sundry adventuring. Unlike other, more wholesome forms of children’s entertainment such as Bible reading, wood-chopping for boys and knitting for girls, Ms. Blyton’s books are significantly vacuous. They serve no purpose to illustrate moral lessons or otherwise educate, on par with twiddlywinks and heads-down, thumbs-up.

As an example for those unfamiliar with her work, let us look at two of the first books in The Famous Five series.

In Five on a Treasure Island, we meet our (in)Famous Five cast of characters. The female lead character has the name Georgina, however she insists on being called ‘George’ (note, lesbian themes):

“And then there’s Georgina, who looks and acts like a boy and won’t answer to her proper name. They must call her George, she tells her cousins, or else she’ll ignore them. She makes a big deal about how boys are better and stronger at everything, and that she’s a stronger swimmer than most boys and can row a boat like any boy can, and so on…and so therefore she wants to be treated as a boy and not a sissy girl like Anne, who still plays with dolls.” (from review)

While Uncle Quentin is passed out from a night on grog and coke, Dick borrows his porno stash

In Five Go Adventuring Again we find that Anne and George attend the ‘Gaylands’ school. (Note, homosexual overtones develop). The less said about the school the better. In this story, the children have a tutor, the respectable Mr. Roland. Mr. Roland, being the up-standing citizen he is, realises Georgina’s identity crisis and attempts to assert correct gender identity:

“George isn’t too keen on being called ‘a little girl’ by [Mr. Roland], and doesn’t speak [to him]. .... He insists on calling her Georgina. She is determined not to like him!” (from review)

Ms. Blyton seditiously makes this helpful character the villian of the book. The message to children is clear: those that attempt to address and treat us in the corrent gender role that God has assigned are bad people. Resist hetreosexual authority figures.

Mr. Roland the caring tutor

Whilst establishing support for the homosexual agenda seems to be the main gist of her writings, Ms. Blyton does not shy away from a spot of hate speech as well. In her ‘Noddy’ series of books, the troublemakers take the form of ‘Golliwoggs’ a perverted, hateful caricature of black people. I won’t even begin to cover Ms. Blyton’s two (is one not enough?) sorid series of the exploits of prepubescent students at an all-girls boarding school, Malory Towers and St. Clare’s.

By now it should be clear that Enid Blyton was a servant of Satan, and we should rid ourselves of her hate-mongering, purile writings. For the sake of our children.

Illustration scans and plot summaries from EnidBlyton.net