Beach this, Golden that

When visiting tacky and even not so tacky seaside towns, you are immediately struck by the lack of naming imagination. “Beach this“, “Golden that“ ad nauseam. Fibro lowset motels, poorly refurbished cream-brick hotels through to high-rises all seem have names that could equally be applied to any of them.

What I and a friend soon realised is there is a system at work. Deep in the bowels of the local city council, there is a machine that generates names for each new prospective holiday establishment. Wrought of iron and powered by steam, the machine holds the future names of every motel and hotel in the area.

After a quick pump-up, my ninja skills successfully got me into the basement of a local council building, however failed me in my attempt to extract the 140kg behemoth. Clearly the councilors had anticipated ninja raids. Not wanting to leave empty handed, I decided I had to investigate how the machine worked and hopefully reconstruct it, ala the Engima machine and share the future with the world.

After prising open a panel on the machine, I could see that there was an internal tank of balls, each with different beachy-kind of names on it. It appeared that by mixing up the balls, and spitting them out in sequence one could build a name. Committing them to memory, I left empty handed, but not empty headed.

Here I present a crude reconstruction of the infernal name generator. Refresh this page and you shall another glimpse to the future.


Parse error: syntax error, unexpected '<' in /home/.carmichael/tsv/live/textpattern/publish/taghandlers.php(2745) : eval()'d code on line 1

Hit CTRL+F5 to get another.

14. October 2006

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